Forgiveness and sobriety go hand in hand. Letting go of past hurts allows one to move forward with recovery in a healthy way.
Practicing forgiveness, even in small ways daily, helps break cycles of negativity that can threaten newly sober individuals. This could involve forgiving oneself for past behaviors or forgiving others who enabled or hurt them. Forgiveness does not mean excusing harmful behaviors. Rather, it involves releasing pain and finding inner peace. For those in recovery, this lightens their emotional burdens and provides the strength to withstand triggers and maintain sobriety one day at a time.
Look Inward
Achieving sobriety with the help of a 12-Step Program requires looking inward and assessing relationships that may have enabled or triggered substance use. It can be difficult to admit the role certain people played in our addiction, but holding onto resentment keeps us trapped in the past. To move forward, we must identify individuals who contributed to unhealthy patterns and truly forgive them. This does not mean condoning their actions, but rather releasing anger and finding empathy for their brokenness.
We are all imperfect and capable of hurting others, even unintentionally. The liberation of forgiveness allows us to take responsibility for our recovery without blaming others for our choices. Letting go of grudges frees us from their weight, making space for the personal growth sobriety demands. With open hands and hearts, we can receive the future with hope, no longer chained to old wounds.
A New Perspective
A helpful approach is to try seeing things from the other person’s perspective. Put yourself in their shoes, and reflect on what pain or struggles may have influenced their actions. This doesn’t justify harmful behavior, but it can help you summon some empathy and compassion. When we recognize others’ humanity despite their flaws, forgiveness starts to feel attainable.
You may also find it healing to write a letter to the person you are forgiving. Getting your emotions and grievances down on paper can be cathartic. You don’t have to send the letter, as the act of writing it is therapeutic enough. This exercise allows you to release some of the burdens you’ve carried.
As time passes, make an effort to release any residual bitterness. When negative thoughts or feelings towards that person arise, consciously replace them with positive wishes. Praying for their health and happiness will help dissolve the toxicity. Distance yourself from people who want you to hold onto resentment. Surround yourself with positive influences who support your recovery.
Anticipate Relapses
The road to sobriety is often filled with setbacks and moments of weakness. When we stumble, it’s easy to beat ourselves up and feel like a failure. Relapse is common on the path to recovery. By forgiving ourselves and focusing on the present, each new day brings us closer to freedom from addiction. We have the power within us if we can find the courage to love ourselves.
The 12 Steps and 12 Traditions contain several passages about the importance of letting go of resentment. As the Big Book states, “We cannot be helpful to all people, but at least God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one.” This tolerance comes from a place of forgiveness.
To fully heal, we have to be willing to forgive others. Commit each day to let go of anger and resentment. Your emotional well-being and recovery depend on it.
