Any breakup is hard – but the end of a long-term relationship can be especially tough.

Your ex will have played a large part in your life for many years, resulting in a huge emptiness that can be hard to fill. Here are a few ways in which you can find the strength to move on.

CRY IT OUT

Facing your loss is the first important step to getting over your relationship. Allow yourself a day or two to cry it out and reflect on your relationship (take time off work if you have to). Burying your feelings and trying to continue as normal will only cause them to build up until they explode out at later stage. It’s better to release those feelings now than have a mental breakdown half-way through a shift at work a couple weeks later.

SURROUND YOURSELF WITH PEOPLE

Isolating yourself and becoming withdrawn won’t help. Try to meet up with family members and friends so that you can talk about the breakup and vent any feelings you may have. Even if these people aren’t able to offer much constructive advice (expect someone to tell you ‘there’s plenty more fish in the sea’), it will help to combat the loneliness and it will be comforting knowing that you’ve still got familiar people there to support you.

CREATE NEW PERSONAL GOALS

The end of a long-term relationship could result in you having to come up with new goals – all the joint goals you may have had won’t be possible anymore. Having goals will give you something to distract yourself with. Such goals could include taking up a new hobby and mastering it, pursuing a fitness goal or saving up for travels. Use this opportunity as the chance to focus on goals you wouldn’t have ever been able to pursue when you were with your partner.

KNOW WHEN TO GET PROFESSIONAL HELP

Counseling services such as Relate could be worth using if you have feeling to vent but no-one to vent them with. Counseling could even be useful for helping you to make sense of the breakup. On top of counseling, certain breakups may benefit from legal support and advice. The likes of Cordell & Cordell could be useful when dealing with a divorce in which kids and shared assets may be involved. Such specialist services may even be able to offer counselling on these issues as well as legal support.

ENJOY BEING SINGLE

Too many people are eager to jump into a new relationship as a way of coping. This won’t help you to heal – it could just cause confusion and it might not be fair on the person that you’re seeing if you’re not ready to commit. Focus on yourself and enjoy the freedom of being single. You now have total control over your schedule and your finances, allowing you to do the activities that you want. See it as a golden opportunity to grow as a person and not as a loss.