People often say that the most challenging times in their lives is what makes them who they are, but there’s no denying that bouncing back from a crisis is not easy. 

A crisis can take many forms, but what binds them all together is a profound sense of grief and loss. You have to make do with living without something you didn’t have before. 

 

Take people, for instance, who get involved in a crash and wind up with a disability. Even with the help of a car accident lawyer, they can never recover what’s been lost. 

 

The same goes for those who lose a loved one to disease. That person is gone forever, and there’s no way back. You can get a similar sense of loss, grief, and betrayal when you find out that your spouse or partner isn’t the loyal person you once thought they were. 

 

The question here, however, is not how to bounce back after a disaster, but why some people find it so difficult. 

 

If you take a look at how people respond to significant difficulties in their lives, you usually find that they go either one of two ways. They either descend into unhealthy habits, taking up bad habits like drinking or drugs to take the pain away. Or they deal with it, learn from it, and become more resilient people in the future. 

 

Responding to difficulties in life is always a challenge for everyone, no matter how “mentally strong” they may appear on the surface. When somebody values something, such as their health, money, or family, they naturally have a sense of mourning whenever they lose it. It’s a fundamental part of life and reveals that we’re connected to the world around us. In short, we care about what happens. We’re not detached and aloof. 

 

The problem for some people, however, is that they can’t manage the pain of dealing with a crisis head-on. Instead, they vacillate around the problem, never really dealing with the underlying issue. This approach then leads to additional issues that ultimately undermine the happiness of the affected person. 

 

WHY PEOPLE DON’T LIKE TO TACKLE CRISES HEAD-ON

 

So what’s going on here? What don’t people like to confront issues head-on? 

 

Just as with many matters related to human psychology, the issue runs deep. The main driver for avoiding grief and mourning is that it is painful. You have to accept that you’ve lost something, and you might not want to. Facing up to the harsh realities of the world is a challenge, especially if you believe in romantic notions, such as fairness and justice. For most people, at most times in history, that’s not how the world worked out. 

 

Accepting pain isn’t the only issue, either. In many cases, you also have to take additional baggage too. You realize that you’re not all-powerful or invincible. You find out that you’re not the ideal lover or perfect husband. It can be crushing to view yourself in that way. It can also be hard to accept that somebody could betray you, even when the evidence is right there in front of you. 

 

People don’t like to tackle crises head-on, but it doesn’t help. The problem is that you don’t learn the lessons of the past and put them behind you. If you suffer a crisis, like the death of a loved one but you don’t accept it, then you’ll feel other emotions, such as anger and diffuse hatred of the world you can’t explain. You may also find yourself mired in depression and asking questions such as “what’s the point?”

 

Other types of crises can be equally damaging. If you’re involved in a car accident, and you weren’t to blame, you can harbor ill-feelings against the people who caused your injuries for years to come. You can wind up blaming them for your predicament and getting into terrible rages that dog you for the rest of your life. The problem with this is that you’re not focused on the things that will help you live the best experience possible. 

 

BUILDING MORE RESILIENCE

 

There’s a reason, though, why it is so vital to bounce back from a crisis: it teaches you resilience. It allows you to come back more easily in the future if something similar happens and recover your quality of life. You go into situations better prepared, knowing that the outcomes aren’t always good. Sometimes things can go wrong: desperately wrong. 

 

Psychologists have found that people with the most optimistic dispositions tend to come back from crises faster than others. Something in their psychology says that there are still things worth living and fighting for, even if they have been through a terrible time. 

 

More resilient people also tend to have healthier bodies. Those who experienced a severe illness, crash, or the death of a family member were the healthiest afterward. People with a less optimistic outlook on life tended to fare much worse. 

 

HOW TO BE MORE RESILIENT

 Okay, the preceding discussion is all well and good, but how do you actually become more resilient in your daily life? 

 

While there’s no silver bullet, there are several things that you can do that can wind up making a substantial difference. 

 

• Be hopeful. While the future might seem grim right now, there’s always a reason to hope. If you have a disability, you might not be able to live your life as you did before, but there are still options available to you. If you have lost somebody you love, there are still plenty of opportunities to make new connections and enjoy yourself. 
• Connect with others. Dealing with life’s difficulties by yourself can be a massive challenge. It is, however, usually far easier when you do so alongside other people. Create a circle of relationships around you that you can fall back on in your hour of need.
• Take care of yourself. Finally, it’s worth taking care of yourself as best as possible, both mentally and physically. Give yourself permission to take time out, relax, and look after your body.