The age old question of what came first, the chicken or the egg is a query that surfaces in many different areas of life. For example, is it our clothes and what we choose to wear that increase our confidence and self-esteem? Or, should how we feel and our already existing confidence be the first layer we put on when we get dressed in the morning?
As I watched the men in my family get ready for a black tie-event, laboring over the perfection of their bow-ties and their pocket squares, I began to really wonder what the answer was. Perhaps the items themselves symbolized something far greater then just an emulation of that flawless Dandy they grew up seeing on the covers of GQ? According to recent research by Karen Pine, a professor in the School of Psychology at University of Hertfordshire, it is possible that the clothing choices we make can be directly linked to mood states, affect and the difference between being happy and confident and sad and insecure. When working with clients with significant struggles with self-esteem, confidence and even depression sometimes the best strategy can be to work from ‘the outside, in.“

CONFIDENCE

In other words, freshening up your wardrobe, putting on something new, shaving (for men) and putting on makeup for women…picking out something clean and dressing for the mood you want rather then dressing for the mood you are in instead of waiting for depression, low self-esteem or insecurity to lift first. So what was so important about getting that bow-tie completed, perfect, or even choosing it in the first place?

WEARING YOUR EMOTIONS

GQ’s Glenn O’Brien is quoted saying that “If you have swagger, a bow-tie can be a badge of courage.” The idea that such a small and minor accessory can be linked to mental states that include words like ‘courage’ ‘valor’ and ‘grit’ speak to what Pine meant when she said that our clothing choices reflect not only who we are but more importantly, who we become when we are wearing those items. When asking Diego about his own connection to this theory, these were his own thoughts:

COURAGE

My clothes definitely changed my character. Five years ago, I started to change the way I dress; I wore more suits, ties, and pocket squares. As my wardrobe changed, so did my mind set. It totally changed how I interacted with people and how they interacted with me. By simply having the right pocket square or the right tie, I would feel more confident and that confidence was felt by other people. I could do anything!

VALOR

So for this week, my go to items been from Weekend Casual. This pocket square and tie embody fall with their colors. With this look, I always felt I was at the right place, at the right time. Weekend Casual not only raised my confidence, they also made me feel good about myself. WC currently supports Surge for Water and Ekal Vidyalaya. With every purchase you make, a portion goes to one of these causes. Feel good and look good! So check them out and add that extra “oomph” to your outfit. Believe in yourself.

Photogphy by Bianca Fortis

Piece written by Shira Burstein with contributions from Dandy In The Bronx. Find out more about Shira Burstein, LCSW’s private psychotherapy practice in Brooklyn and Manhattan at: shirabursteintherapy.com

SHOP THE LOOK

Weekend Casual tie, pocket square | Banana Republic blazer, pants, shoes | The Tie Bar tie bar | Express shirt | Daniel Wellington watch | Ray-Ban sunglasses | Cooper & Jin no show socks

What do you think of the look? What’s your go to piece? What ups your confidence? Leave me a comment!

(Shot near Pelham Parkway/Morris Park in the Bronx)

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Thanks for reading, y’all stay dandy.  😎 Don’t forget to follow me on Instagram!
-Diego

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